Tag Archives: Comedy of Manners

Is Your Marriage Stable? An easy Quiz!

Yesterday Miss Darcy found a quiz in one of those trendy women’s magazines. It was designed to help you discover if your marriage could endure the stresses of retirement. If you answered any questions wrong, your marriage was as solid as a termite infested outhouse.

Question: If you only have one car, do you share it equally?

My condition for Bill’s retirement was two cars. I’ve known too many couples who divorced over the car issue. Men retire. Women never do. They still have the same need for the car for all their important errands.

Bill drives to the golf course, to the grocery store and to Home Depot. Although a mature, bright adult, once behind the wheel, he loses all sense of time. “I’ll be back in twenty minutes. I’m just going to pick up a lug wrench.” He could be gone for days, while I waited for that car.

In any hardware store, a man can spend six hours in the nuts and bolts aisle, drooling over the endless sizes, not to mention the section of toggle bolts. Did you ever see anyone toggle?

Question: Do you wish you could go somewhere without him?

Of course I do. Being together is great but give me a break. Every day? When the kids were little, I never went anywhere without one or both clinging to a leg or some other appendage. In those days when I had a really bad day and wanted to be alone, I usually ended up at Walgreens.

By the time I got everyone settled for the night, that was the only place open, except bars. Since Bill retired, I found a 24 hour Walgreens, for my alone time. I usually go after dinner when he’s cranked into the “lights out” position on the recliner.

I never buy much. I just roam the aisles and talk to myself until the clerks begin to give me funny looks. Then I go quietly home.

Question: Do you discuss interesting subjects at dinner?

During JEOPARDY? Lets face it, not much has happened since breakfast unless the house has been broken into or a storm surge has wiped out the neighborhood.

The TV keeps us from staring mindlessly at the mashed potatoes. We try to save what counts for conversation for those nights out when we’re alone in a restaurant that doesn’t have waiters in paper hats.

That’s the time when we pretend we’re dating again and the subject of children, grandchildren and the state of the economy is off limits so we can happily digest the meal.

Question: Do you ever feel your home is a jail?

No. In jail, you don’t have to cook.

Question: Are you always cheerful at bedtime?

Generally. But the nights I’m not, Bill has made some unfortunate comment like, “I think I’ll turn in. I’ve really had a tough day.” or “Have you gained weight this week?” This leads to one of those arguments that involve a general breakdown of reasonable thinking.

Since I always liked his mother, I steer clear of questioning his ancestry and just bring up all the things he’s forgotten to do since we’ve been married.

Question: Do you avoid telling him bad news?

Are you nuts? Why rush to tell him I scraped the side of the car when the chances are good he’ll never look at the passenger side? Why ruin his day by telling him I maxed out the credit card on a dynamite sale at the Pottery Barn? All in good time.

Question: Do you ever look at your spouse and wonder why you married him?

Daily. Even after all these years, it’s a sheer wonderment to me. How could I have been so smart to choose someone like Bill to spend my golden years with? I guess I was just lucky he asked.

Do questions in magazines make you laugh? Do you look at your relationships and wonder why it’s worked out so well? Leave a comment below.

Miss Darcy loves to hear from you! Although her correspondence is extensive, she always has time for faithful readers. She answers all inquiries as etiquette requires! Three fastest ways to reach her?

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Your faithful correspondent,

Miss Karla Darcy

PS: There is much to be learned in the coming months as Miss Darcy sifts through the rumors and gossip. Surely you don’t want to be left in the dark!

Subscribe to Miss Darcy’s musings and as a special thank you present you can collect your free e-book. You’ll find the sign up in the right sidebar below Miss Darcy’s photo here: Blog

If you’re on her announcement list, Miss Darcy will send you infrequent emails to make you privy to any news items worthy of her attention, offers of free books and pre-publication announcements for members only. You can sign up here: Announcement List

 

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The American Bride! A Proxy Marriage? Miss Darcy Cries Fustian!

Miss Darcy has been trying to cut through the gossip concerning Lord Wilton’s proxy marriage to an American. Most would say, “What good can come of such a misalliance?” Learn the true story in The American Bride.

Fustian! Miss Darcy was quite startled when she read that the Duchess of Landglower herself had proposed a shocking scheme. Excerpt from The American Bride:

*******************

“Cara, your father had your best interests at heart. He could have married you to anyone but I think he chose well. Lord Wilton is young and very handsome. I’m sure he has many fine qualities.”

Sunk in her own despair Cara failed to note the uncertainty of the Duchess’ appraisal.

“Who knows? Given time you may grow to love him.”

“But, Grandmother, that’s just the point. I don’t have any time. We’re already married. He’ll never give me time to know him. We shall be introduced and then he’ll have the right to do with me whatever he wants.”

The American BrideThe older woman could not dismiss the note of distress in the girl’s voice nor the blushing agony in her face. She knew the girl was correct.

The things she had heard about Wilton left her in little doubt that he would immediately bed the beautiful girl. Even at her advanced age she chafed at her granddaughter’s predicament.

The Duchess left her chair and rummaged in the pigeonholes of an inlaid rosewood desk. Pulling out a letter she gave a sigh of satisfaction and returned to her chair. She squinted at the pages for several minutes and then smiled at the curious girl.

“Lady Trehune always keeps me abreast of the latest gossip. Can’t understand why anyone would tell her anything in confidence because before you could get out the door Netty would have told at least three people. At any rate she has her uses when you need to know anything about the ton.”

“She wrote you about Lord Wilton?”

“Indirectly,” the Duchess said, smiling at her granddaughter’s eagerness. “About three years ago Lord Wilton’s brother and his wife were killed in a carriage accident.

There were two children and they are wards of Wilton. They live at his country estate and, according to my addlepated friend Netty, they are in need of a governess.

Knowing of your proxy marriage she was delighted to inform me that their last governess left under some sort of a cloud.”

“You mean that I could go there as a governess? Oh, grandmother, what a lark!”

The girl laughed deeply, much to her grandmother’s approval. She was a fine healthy animal who seemed to appreciate a good joke. No missish girl, this one, nodded the Duchess.

“Do you think you could carry it off?” Liela inquired.

“I had a perfectly awful governess after Mother died. Madame Regenard was an absolute dragon.” She jumped to her feet and paced across the carpeting.

“Should I be French? I can speak it perfectly, even though my accent is a bit awkward,”

“No, child,” the Duchess drawled. “No one would ever take you for anything but an American.”

*******************

Miss Darcy is well aware that such a disguise could place this innocent girl in considerable danger. Not only her reputation but her very virtue would be at risk.

In Downton Abbey, the American bride did save the estate but when the heir died her money was tied to that very estate.

There’s more at stake here than financial disaster. Like in Pride and Prejudice, tittle-tattle abounds but the full account in The American Bride is so romantic.

You’re dying to learn the rest of the story, aren’t you? To Buy or Download a Sample of The American Bride Click HERE.

Miss Darcy loves to hear from you! Although her correspondence is extensive she always has time for faithful readers. She answers all inquiries as etiquette requires! Three fastest ways to reach her? Leave comments below this post. Miss Darcy loves these.

Join her on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/karla.darcy.3

or Twitter:  https://twitter.com/KarlaDarcy

Your faithful correspondent,

Miss Karla Darcy

PS: There is much to be learned in the coming months as Miss Darcy sifts through the rumors and gossip. Surely you don’t want to be left in the dark!

Subscribe to Miss Darcy’s musings and as a special thank you present you can collect your free e-book. You’ll find the sign up in the right sidebar below Miss Darcy’s photo here: Blog

If you’re on her announcement list, Miss Darcy will send you infrequent emails to make you privy to any news items worthy of her attention, offers of free books and pre-publication announcements for members only. You can sign up here: Announcement List

 

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Weekly Words from Miss Darcy’s Dictionary

Miss Darcy has been apprised by the DSRC that some of the readers of her correspondence are not totally up to snuff on the Regency language. She understands that time is a precious commodity so she thought it might be fun to define some of these antiquated words.

Some of the members of Sweet’s Racing Club have been known to use cant (Regency slang) when in a private room among friends. Never in front of the ladies.  But it would be an adventure for all of us to be reminded of even these meanings.

When regaling you concerning the rumors surrounding the proxy marriage of Lord Wilton, she may have used several unfamiliar words. It’s very similar to when Miss Darcy arrived in America, she felt as if she had to learn a new language.

Miss Darcy’s Dictionary

So here are several words that you might not know but will help in understanding the Regency world.

To disguise is to pretend to be something one is not. An impersonation. To create a different appearance in order to conceal one’s identity.

In Regency times to be disguised is to be drunk. To be foxed or castaway is similar.

Misalliance is a marriage of two people unsuited to each other either on a social, financial or national level.

Addlepated means to be mixed up or confused. Although it seems a modern word, it was first used in 1630.

Missish means prim or prudish. Acting like an innocent maiden. Ah! Miss Darcy remembers those days.

Fustian is high-flown or affected writing or speech; broadly :anything high-flown or affected in style. Used occasionally as an exclamation.

Miss Darcy loves to hear from you! Although her correspondence is extensive she always has time for faithful readers. She answers all inquiries as etiquette requires! Three fastest ways to reach her? Leave comments below this post. Miss Darcy loves these.

Join her on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/karla.darcy.3

or Twitter:  https://twitter.com/KarlaDarcy

Your faithful correspondent,

Miss Karla Darcy

PS: There is much to be learned in the coming months as Miss Darcy sifts through the rumors and gossip. Surely you don’t want to be left in the dark!

Subscribe to Miss Darcy’s musings and as a special thank you present you can collect your free e-book. You’ll find the sign up in the right sidebar below Miss Darcy’s photo here: Blog

If you’re on her announcement list, Miss Darcy will send you infrequent emails to make you privy to any news items worthy of her attention, offers of free books and pre-publication announcements for members only. You can sign up here: Announcement List

 

 

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Miss Darcy is Appalled! The American Bride! Romance? Pshaw!

Miss Darcy quizzed one of the Daughters of Sweet’s Racing Club (DSRC), Alicia Weathersfield, who revealed the titillating rumor about her ancestor, Lord Wilton. Miss Darcy was able to ferret out the fact that he had gotten himself into quite a coil (disturbance or fuss) through the machinations of his grandmother, the Duchess of Landglower.

A proxy marriage was arranged between Wilton and, of all people, an American girl. What a corkbrained (idiotic) proposition! What good can come of such a misalliance?

Downton Abbey devotees would tell you an American bride wed to an English lord does not lead to financial salvation! The book The American Bride tells a rousing tale of the bride’s escapades on her arrival in England. And what a doozy it is!

The American BrideDevil take it! Miss Darcy was scandalized by what she read. Excerpt from The American Bride:

“I wish I were dead.”

“Nonsense, Caroline. Where’s your backbone?” the Duchess of Landglower snapped.

“But I’ve never even seen this Lord Wilton. What if he’s repulsive?”

“Your marriage, my dear child, is unquestionably legal,” the Duchess announced. “It was conducted three months ago in my own household with duly authorized witnesses. I stood as proxy for you in this instance.”

“Couldn’t it be annulled?”

“Impossible!” Came the adamant reply.

“Oh, Grandmother, ” Cara moaned, “I wish that I had never left America.”

Arms resting on her knees, hands clasped in silent supplication, she leaned toward the Duchess.

“My marriage really can’t be legal, Grandmother,” Cara pleaded. “After all, I’ve never even set eyes on Lord Wilton.”

“Now, my child, there are certain facts that must be accepted.” The Duchess held up one elegant blue-veined hand curtailing the younger girl’s outburst. “First, the marriage is incontestably valid.”

Miss Darcy is appalled that this innocent young girl might be bedded by a total stranger but what options has Cara? In Downton Abbey, the American bride did save the estate. Not the same thing here, don’t you know?

Even Jane Austen would be hard pressed to wrap this story in plain linen (offer a positive spin.) Miss Darcy is well aware you can’t resist learning the rest of the story, can you?

To Buy or Download a Sample of The American Bride Click HERE.

Your faithful correspondent,

Karla Darcy

PS: The best way to keep in touch with Miss Darcy is to subscribe to her mailing list. She’ll send you opportunities to download free books and pre-publication announcement offers for members only.

And of course, as your faithful correspondent, Miss Darcy will make you privy (share the knowledge of a secret) to any news items worthy of her attention. Subscribe HERE.

 

 

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Karla Darcy Exposes Sweet’s Racing Club Romance!

Miss Darcy confided yesterday Lord Farrington’s infatuation with an actress, however she was not cognizant of the betting book entry at Sweet’s Racing Club. In Regency times many clubs had a book where a member could enter a bet. Who knew that the odds were not solidly in favor of Farrington winning La Solitaire? The other contender was the dastardly Talbott Stoddard. Virtue besieged! A possible duel!  Devil confound it! What more could endanger Blaine Meriweather. Miss Darcy is at sixes and sevens (a state of confusion or disorder) and needs to clear up any lingering uncertainty so she is offering HERE. free on Friday, November 16th. You can download the kindle version at Amazon absolutely free.

HERE.

Would Miss Darcy be henwitted enough to tell you anything but a dazzling story? Miss Blaine Meriweather is a young woman of good family whose estate is in financial shambles. How will she care for her brother and sister? Out of options, she becomes the astonishing actress La Solitaire! Imagine the scandal if anyone discovers her identity! Blaine’s wild success saves her family. All should be well. The only thing she hadn’t counted on was Lord Farrington, who is determined to make La Solitaire his mistress! Blaine’s finest acting is required to save her virtue, her family, and their honor. It would have been so easy, if only Blaine hadn’t fallen in love….

Will she save her family from disaster? To download, click HERE.

Your faithful Correspondent,

Karla Darcy

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Karla Darcy’s Humorous Regency Romance Free For You!

Miss Darcy confessed yesterday that the Sweet’s Racing Club was all atwitter over the scandalous behavior of Lord Andrew Farrington and that beguiling minx, Blaine Meriweather. Miss Darcy has unearthed the shocking truth behind this romantic affair of the heart. Disguises, chases and intrigue! Wouldn’t you want to be privy to the latest on dits? (For those not up on our Regency “cant” or slang those words mean “It is said” – a piece of gossip –a vague rumor.) Miss Darcy wishes to set the rumors straight so she is offering free on Thursday, November 15th. You can download the kindle version at Amazon absolutely free. Downton Abbey is quite mundane compared to this story.

HERE.

Despite the tittle-tattle circulating around the social set this is a charming romance. Miss Blaine Meriweather is a young woman of good family whose estate is in financial shambles. How will she care for her brother and sister? Out of options, she becomes the astonishing actress La Solitaire! Imagine the scandal if anyone discovers her identity! Blaine’s wild success saves her family. All should be well. The only thing she hadn’t counted on was Lord Farrington, who is determined to make La Solitaire his mistress! Blaine’s finest acting is required to save her virtue, her family, and their honor. It would have been so easy, if only Blaine hadn’t fallen in love….

Will her virtue survive? To download, click HERE.

Your faithful Correspondent,

Karla Darcy

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Karla Darcy, Downton Abbey, and Jane Austen, Oh, My!

Piffle! Miss Darcy can’t believe what a havey-cavey (unsteady or disorderly) situation one of the gentlemen of Sweet’s Racing Club has gotten into. She would like you to hear for yourself what transpired in the London theater when Lord Farrington endeavored to make La Solitaire his mistress. The celebrated actress who has bedazzled London is a total mystery. None of the men who have pursured her have won her favors. November 14th you can download the kindle version at Amazon absolutely free. Despite the rumors circling around the social set The Masked Heart is a delightful romance. Full of historical details of the London theater in the Regency era. And, oh my, the romance! Better than waiting for Downton Abbey reruns!

Miss Blaine Meriweather is a young woman of good family whose estate is in financial shambles. How will she care for her brother and sister? Out of options, she becomes the astonishing actress La Solitaire! Imagine the scandal if anyone discovers her identity! Blaine’s wild success saves her family. All should be well. The only thing she hadn’t counted on was Lord Farrington, who is determined to make La Solitaire his mistress! Blaine’s finest acting is required to save her virtue, her family, and their honor. It would have been so easy, if only Blaine hadn’t fallen in love….

Surely you’re not birdwitted enough to miss the opportunity to learn all the romantic details. To download, click HERE.

Your faithful Correspondent,

Karla Darcy

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